The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes. MARCEL PROUST

If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. WILLIAM BLAKE

Wanderer, there is no way; the way is made by walking. ANTONIO MACHADO

Friday, 20 June 2008

An Apologia

Maybe they'll get me and maybe they won't/But not tonight and it won't be here/There are things I could say but I don't/I know the mercy of God must be near Standing In The Doorway from Time Out Of Mind BOB DYLAN

I'm beginning to hear voices and there's no one around Cold Irons Bound from Time Out Of Mind BOB DYLAN

Everything has its downside. We fall in love; we fall out of love. We go on holiday - and catch a virus on the plane coming home. We climb a mountain - and on reaching the summit realise it's the wrong mountain. Likewise there's blogging heaven, and there's blogging hell.

A few weeks ago I descended for a time into blogging hell. A unique set of personal circumstances - which I won't go into - tipped me over the edge for a while. Believe me, given the conditions, we can all go there more easily than you may think. It's not a happy place. I experienced very quickly a kind of madness, insanity, unreason - call it what you will - spiced with an unpleasant dose of paranoia. It took about a week to crawl slowly out of the abyss and regain a more balanced viewpoint. Now I can hardly identify myself as the person I was then.

Scary, or what? Well, perhaps not so scary. Best to talk about it, not conceal it. Admit that all of us are sometimes nearer the brink than we care to believe. The inherent dangers in blogging are misinterpretation and drawing connections where non exist. Mistaking virtual reality for reality and vice versa. We have only the written word to go on, often spontaneously given - and the written word acquires a primary and exaggerated importance in a blogworld lacking facial expressions, body language, spoken intonation.

So if at any point during this time I unwittingly offended, confused or upset any one, I'm sorry. It was not intentional.

Mea culpa.

4 comments:

Gypsy James said...

Your blog is so evolving, and it was in a good place to begin with.

Whatever your personal issues might be, you chose to write it more or less anonymously, which surely gives you some free rein editorially wise? I took the opposite line, and am wondering if I did the right thing....Still a bit late now, unless I start another, which I don't think I could be bothered to do.

Keep the spirit you started with, with your current line of thinking, you have a great way with words, as well as an eclectic choice of side-links.

All the best

James

John Hee said...

good to see you back on an even keel and orging forward once more

The Solitary Walker said...

gj - So many thanks for this. Your own blog seems just fine the way it is.

jh - is 'orging' a neologism for 'having an orgy' or is it a portmanteau of 'foraging' and 'playing the organ'? I would love to know. On second thoughts, don't tell me - I'll take both definitions and to hell with it.

gleaner said...

That was a great summary of the exact problems I see with blogging...and still not sure about...GJ was right, you do have a great way with words.

Its the exchange of medium where verbal dialogue becomes written and literal, I think.
Or should that be, I think, therefore I blog.