A common man marvels at uncommon things. A wise man marvels at the commonplace. CONFUCIUS

Friday, 16 January 2009

The Dying Of The Light

And you, my father, there on the sad height,/Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears... DYLAN THOMAS Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
In August 1987 my 29 year old sister died of a cerebral haemorrhage caused by a tumour on the brain. My mother died in November 2004, aged 82, after suffering from progressive Alzheimer's disease for 5 years.
3 days ago my father died. He was 90 years old. He was admitted to hospital just before Christmas with gastroenteritis. He never returned home again. Gradually he became thinner and weaker. He slept more and more, and, when awake, often rambled and was confused. He became seriously dehydrated. Finally he died of acute renal failure. Towards the end he said several things to me which showed me that he knew he was dying and that he wanted to die. At one point my voice seemed to cut through to him, to the distant mental place he was inhabiting, and he came to, opened his eyes wide and looked directly at me. "Oh, I do love you, Robert", he said. All his raging had gone completely, and he slipped peacefully away.
Oh the tree of life is growing/Where the spirit never dies/And the bright light of salvation shines/In dark and empty skies BOB DYLAN Death Is Not The End

15 comments:

forest wisdom said...

My condolences, Robert. Thoughts of peace and lovingkindness to you and your family.

The Weaver of Grass said...

So sorry Robert. He had reached a good age but that doesn't stop the sadness. Shall be thinking of you over the next few weeks. Much love.

Rachel Fox said...

What times. Much love.
x

Mister Roy said...

Peace

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your post - reflecting on death adds such a rich perspective on life..

...may words and poetry help you through this time...

Bella

Tom said...

I saw you said in a comment to FW a few days ago - "At the moment I'm much more in the raging, Dylan Thomas mode"

Invite me to rage with you, and Im there... Im there...

deepest condolences

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Solitary…

I'm so sorry to hear of your father's passing.

My father died in 1983; but my mother lived until 2005, and was 94 when she died. Being an only child, I know, in spite of my age, when Mom went, it was not only my final parental connection, but also my history…my life. I felt lost, alone, empty.

Time will help, my friend. Your grief and sadness will lessen, your loss will become bearable, less raw.

You will be in my prayers.

Raph G. Neckmann said...

My deepest condolences to you. You are in my thoughts ...

am said...

Your father's words to you are quite moving and memorable. Yes. From where the spirit never dies.

Jay said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your father's passing, but what beautiful last words to hear!

It's very hard to lose a parent. I'm told it's even harder to lose both. My mother is still living, at eighty-eight years old, my father - and my step-father - have both gone. And I can sympathise about your sister. I lost my brother in 1988.

Loren said...

My condolences.

(o)

The Solitary Walker said...

I am very touched by all your comments, thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much.

Dominic Rivron said...

My condolences. You are in our thoughts.

Alan Sloman said...

I am so glad for you that you managed to have those precious words with your Dad. Just before My Dad died I finally managed to let him know, far too late, how much he had meant to me and for the values he had instilled in me.

It was and still is a memory I shall treasure for the rest of my days.

Good luck Robert - Your writings have been inspirational for me in the last few months.

Stay with it fella.
All the best
Alan

The Solitary Walker said...

Thanks, Dominic, for your empathy.

Alan, if my literal wanderings and metaphysical meanderings have been in some way helpful to you, as you say, I am most touched and moved by this.

I know you've had a rough time lately - and sincerely hope things are looking up.