Odd One Out

Entertained and inspired by Rachel Fox's and Dominic Rivron's recent blogofrolics, I thought I'd risk 3 being too much of a crowd and jump on the bandwagon myself. The game is this: guess which one of the following statements about myself is untrue. Go on, have a go! It's obvious! Isn't it?

1. I once helped Kenneth Williams do The Times crossword.

2. Once I woke up half-clothed on a street bench in the middle of the Frankfurt morning rush hour without any clear recollection of how I'd got there.

3. I used to be a keyboard player in a rock and roll band.

4. Totally inebriated, I've read a self-penned poem written on a shiny-paper toilet roll in front of various eminent university lecturers, professors and academics.

5. I had a complete blog-breakdown for several weeks when I imagined all the blogs I was reading held secret, malign messages.

6. I once touched the hairs on the back of Helen Mirren's neck.

7. I once bored Linda Barker half to death by telling her in minute detail how I'd decorated my kids' bedrooms.

8. I passed my driving test first time.

9. I have another wife in South America.

10. I once accepted Michael Winner's offer of another glass of champagne.

11. I have helped Frankie Howerd get dressed.

12. On one occasion I had to give a talk about Book Distribution without notes and without knowing anything at all about the subject in a lecture theatre full of drunk people and breastfeeding women.

Sometimes I think this blogging thing brings out the worst in us... ;)