For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move. ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Odd One Out

Entertained and inspired by Rachel Fox's and Dominic Rivron's recent blogofrolics, I thought I'd risk 3 being too much of a crowd and jump on the bandwagon myself. The game is this: guess which one of the following statements about myself is untrue. Go on, have a go! It's obvious! Isn't it?

1. I once helped Kenneth Williams do The Times crossword.

2. Once I woke up half-clothed on a street bench in the middle of the Frankfurt morning rush hour without any clear recollection of how I'd got there.

3. I used to be a keyboard player in a rock and roll band.

4. Totally inebriated, I've read a self-penned poem written on a shiny-paper toilet roll in front of various eminent university lecturers, professors and academics.

5. I had a complete blog-breakdown for several weeks when I imagined all the blogs I was reading held secret, malign messages.

6. I once touched the hairs on the back of Helen Mirren's neck.

7. I once bored Linda Barker half to death by telling her in minute detail how I'd decorated my kids' bedrooms.

8. I passed my driving test first time.

9. I have another wife in South America.

10. I once accepted Michael Winner's offer of another glass of champagne.

11. I have helped Frankie Howerd get dressed.

12. On one occasion I had to give a talk about Book Distribution without notes and without knowing anything at all about the subject in a lecture theatre full of drunk people and breastfeeding women.

Sometimes I think this blogging thing brings out the worst in us... ;)

14 comments:

Timecheck said...

Obviously, number 8 - passing the driving test on the first try

gleaner said...

Initially I thought number 9 but I think the brevity of this response in comparison with the others means its a trick...maybe your childhood sweetheart from pre-school lives in South America.

so my totally educated and well researched guess is 8...you didn't pass your driving test first time.

Grace said...

I first read this thinking that we had to guess which statement was true, but now I see we have to guess which one isn't true! You've had a lot of interesting experiences, haven't you? I can only hope it's 9.

Dominic Rivron said...

I think it's number 5.

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Gosh, if it isn't 5, I'm appalled. Those messages weren't malign…just a trifle malefic.

Rebecca said...

If (2) and (4) are true then (8) cannot possibly be true.

As for (9) I assume one of your wife is holding onto your marbles lol.

Rachel Fox said...

Oh this is fantastic! What a list...I want details of them all after the quiz!
I'm going for 4.
x

Alan Sloman said...

Could they all be true? ie the question itself is untrue?

The Weaver of Grass said...

9 sounds a bit odd Robert - I thought I knew you fairly well but if that one is true then you have managed to keep it quiet from the family all these years (and as you know that is nigh on impossible in this family!)

The Solitary Walker said...

Any more guesses, anyone?

I've been looking for those marbles everywhere, Rebecca - maybe I need a ticket to Peru to retrieve them? Or maybe not.

Alan, they are not all true. One, and one only, is a complete and utter porky.

All will be revealed at the weekend (don't worry, Rachel, salacious details included).

Raph G. Neckmann said...

Goodness me, SW - they all sound very larger-than-life! I thought at first we had to guess which one was true!!

I see you've left a comment at the bottom of the list here, so I'm not going to look there until I've written mine ...

I thought no 5 was probably the one which was not true, until reading 9, which, (although being from another planet and not knowing your laws), I think is not likely to be true!

Do you still play rock and roll keyboards?

The Solitary Walker said...

No, Raph, I don't - I sold my old Korg M1 some years ago - but would love to get a Kurzweil keyboard some time in the future. Another dreamy ambition for my post-pubertal early middle-age!

Damn it, I've given something away now which might help narrow down the choices...

Philip Werner said...

I touched Jerry Garcia twice, at 2 different shows, as he passed by me on his way to the stage. Haven't washed my hands since.

The Solitary Walker said...

I should think you haven't, Philip!

Although John Lennon opined the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, and although Eric Clapton is God in the popular imagination, for me the true rock 'n' roll deities are Bob Dylan, Lowell George - and Jerry Garcia...