A night full of talking that hurts, / my worst held-back secrets. Everything / has to do with loving and not loving. / This night will pass. / Then we have work to do. RUMI
I have a dose of blogger's block. But I'm not worried. Like an attack of mild depression, I know it will pass. I've been blogging regularly and intensively for several months. Now something's telling me to stand back a little and reflect on 'Life, the Universe and Everything.' Besides, there's not a lot of point in blogging unless one has something to say and is eager to communicate it. Blogging is not a duty or an obligation. From my own point of view, blogging is an act of love and joy, a release of the self and from the self, a reciprocal process of giving and receiving, a freedom of expression, a glorious anarchy, a mysterious alchemy. A blog is not art, nor is it a journal or a column or a letter or a commonplace book; it's not a prose poem, nor a stream of consciousness, nor a means of therapy - though it can contain elements of all these. But it can't be any of these things successfully if it's not done enthusiastically and fairly spontaneously. Blogs which are forced, or have ulterior motives, or want to sell you something, or don't tell the truth, or don't come from the heart, stick out a mile as not genuine, and no one wants to read them.
Truth to tell, after several difficult and turbulent years - which saw the death of both my parents - this is a watershed year for my wife and I. Changes are happening and we want to embrace them. It's a year when we're making decisions rather than postponing them, when we're putting down roots rather than being blown about in the wind. After endless debates about whether to move house or not, and whether to go and live in France or Spain, we've decided to stay where we are. It's good here in the village. We're lucky to have a nice house and garden with the mortgage paid off. So why move? I think you have to have a compelling reason to do so. It can also be very expensive and stressful. So now we've plans to do stuff to our existing house and garden - to create a bigger and better vegetable plot for one thing, and to try and be more self-sufficient. I've embarked on a new career too. I'm starting a proofreading and copy-editing course soon, which will hopefully lead to plenty of freelance work. I've also got a new Roland keyboard, so I'm playing again. And, of course, all the great pleasures in my life - reading, writing, walking, blogging, eating Marmite - will continue.
Looks like my blogger's block has been broken, doesn't it? Seems like I just can't keep quiet for long..!