Good morning, and here is the news. The chilli crisis has now reached epidemic proportions. They have taken over the fridge, the freezer, the kitchen, the larder and the conservatory. In an attempt to control numbers, many have been dried and imprisoned in jars, but the jars have now crowded most of the cupboard space. And they are still breeding in the garden. In a desperate last-ditch manoeuvre, I tried the neutralising tactic of adding them to a caramelised red onion chutney, but to no avail (ingredients: red onions, bay leaves, olive oil, brown sugar, balsamic vinegar, red wine vinegar — and chillies). Pickling was also suggested, but it didn't restrain them for long (pickling liquid: white vinegar, water, peppercorns, fennel seeds, salt, caster sugar, bay leaves). Watch out: they may soon be wriggling down a road near you. I shall not be in hot pursuit.
Some think it incredibly silly
To eat a bowl full of raw chilli
When tradition agrees
It's best roasted with cheese —
Rocamadour, Reblechon or Caerphilly.