For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move. ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON

Friday, 11 February 2011

Genesis Revisited

I was idly considering the word earth in bed last night - as you do - when it suddenly struck me how many other words you could form out of its modest five letters. Well, today one thing led to another ... and resulted in part of Genesis being rewritten using the word earth and twenty-seven other words (highlighted in red) derived from it. Oh, the things one gets up to on a Friday night ...

"In the Beginning was the Word (or, for the more scientific readers amongst you, two words: Big Bang, which generated a great deal of heat and led to the consolidation of our planet Earth billions of years later). God (the Christian or Jewish one, not the one married to Hera) created everything there is, including all the animals - the hart, the hare and the rat for example, not to mention the rhea - and finally the first human being, Adam, or A as He called him in shorthand, for He was a God of few words, and even fewer letters.

A was miserably lonely - even in the lovely garden God had planted for him - so God took pity on him and fashioned out of his rib a companion, whom He named Eve, or E. 'Ta very much, Master!' exclaimed A, mightily pleased. 'She's a woman after my own heart!' - though he didn't really know what a woman was at that time. 'But hear this,' God added. 'Re that tree over there, the tree I call the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, both of you are expressly forbidden to eat of its fruit, or you'll be out of this garden faster than you can say Beelzebub!' (This was the longest sentence God had ever said and He was exhausted.)

However a snake slithered out of the grass and up to E and somehow persuaded her to eat some of the forbidden fruit for her tea. When she confessed this to her partner, A admonished her. 'Ha!' he said, 'You ate the fruit? I can't hate you for what you did, but for God's sake keep it under your hat!' 'But', E replied bashfully, 'I haven't a hat, or a coat, or even a fig leaf.'

'You will have soon!' said God, suddenly reappearing behind her like a genie from a bottle. The shock startled E, who shed a quick female tear, then artfully tried to cover her private bits. 'You're both out of here double quick,' God boomed, loudly and confidently. He'd found his true voice at last. 'At any rate,' whispered A into E's ear, as they closed the garden gate, 'You did have a brief taste of paradise before starting a lifetime's slog of gruelling births and ungrateful kids and baking fruit pies for dinner.'"      

10 comments:

Bonnie said...

Perfect for a Friday afternoon Robert. And very clever! Hmmmm - earth and heart ..... words are curious things.

am said...

Delightful! You have a knack for midrash (-:

Laura said...

I love how your mind works. Oh that mine would be so creative when I can't sleep...the best I can do right now is count my breaths.

Tramp said...

Yes, that we can rearrange earth to form heart is something to ponder on.
I hope you managed to get some sleep.
...Tramp

Grizz………… said...

Mentally rewriting this version of Genesis and applying the earth derivatives…no wonder you couldn't sleep! I just hope that when I get ready for sleep tonight, I don't suddenly decide to conjure up an alternate version of Hamlet incorporating every derivative of cornbread or chainsaw, and spend the next eight hours mumbling into the darkness.

The Solitary Walker said...

Thanks Bonnie - remember the Pink Floyd album 'Atom Heart Mother'?

Thanks too, am, Laura and Tramp, for your comments...

You could do it, Grizz, you could do it. I have faith in you!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Clever stuff Robert I wonder it didn't send you to sleep.

Robert Hagedorn said...

But what IS the tree of knowledge of good and evil? Do a search: The First Scandal.

Lorenzo — Alchemist's Pillow said...

For some reason, as I read this I kept hearing in my head Sting singing his song "One World (Not Three)", changed to one earth ... one earth is enough for all of us.

The Solitary Walker said...

Thanks Pat, Robert and Lorenzo for your remarks. Yes, one earth is enough. The thing is: are we worthy of it?