Genesis Revisited

I was idly considering the word earth in bed last night - as you do - when it suddenly struck me how many other words you could form out of its modest five letters. Well, today one thing led to another ... and resulted in part of Genesis being rewritten using the word earth and twenty-seven other words (highlighted in red) derived from it. Oh, the things one gets up to on a Friday night ...

"In the Beginning was the Word (or, for the more scientific readers amongst you, two words: Big Bang, which generated a great deal of heat and led to the consolidation of our planet Earth billions of years later). God (the Christian or Jewish one, not the one married to Hera) created everything there is, including all the animals - the hart, the hare and the rat for example, not to mention the rhea - and finally the first human being, Adam, or A as He called him in shorthand, for He was a God of few words, and even fewer letters.

A was miserably lonely - even in the lovely garden God had planted for him - so God took pity on him and fashioned out of his rib a companion, whom He named Eve, or E. 'Ta very much, Master!' exclaimed A, mightily pleased. 'She's a woman after my own heart!' - though he didn't really know what a woman was at that time. 'But hear this,' God added. 'Re that tree over there, the tree I call the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, both of you are expressly forbidden to eat of its fruit, or you'll be out of this garden faster than you can say Beelzebub!' (This was the longest sentence God had ever said and He was exhausted.)

However a snake slithered out of the grass and up to E and somehow persuaded her to eat some of the forbidden fruit for her tea. When she confessed this to her partner, A admonished her. 'Ha!' he said, 'You ate the fruit? I can't hate you for what you did, but for God's sake keep it under your hat!' 'But', E replied bashfully, 'I haven't a hat, or a coat, or even a fig leaf.'

'You will have soon!' said God, suddenly reappearing behind her like a genie from a bottle. The shock startled E, who shed a quick female tear, then artfully tried to cover her private bits. 'You're both out of here double quick,' God boomed, loudly and confidently. He'd found his true voice at last. 'At any rate,' whispered A into E's ear, as they closed the garden gate, 'You did have a brief taste of paradise before starting a lifetime's slog of gruelling births and ungrateful kids and baking fruit pies for dinner.'"