Nigella And Me: Tales Of Sex, Drugs, Rock 'N' Roll And Artichokes

I know it's silly, and childish, and bloggish, and inaccurate, and I know it's a game and the choice will be different in the morning — but how about a list of your ten favourite books? Books that have influenced you, delighted you, stunned and startled you, books that have changed your life in some way? They needn't necessarily be literary, or even well-written; they may be books which were important at a much earlier stage of your life and which you wouldn't want to read again. Or they could be books which are so totemic that you have them by your side at all times. I invite you to indulge me and play this game — those who don't comment regularly, or even at all, are very welcome too! I won't hold you to these lists, which should be spontaneously scribbled down off the top of your head. Though I think you may be surprised at how much such a list says about you. Well, here goes — this is mine. Not in any particular order:

1. Georges Duhamel The Life And Adventures Of Salavin

2. Colin Wilson The Outsider

3. Edward Thomas Poems

4. Rainer Maria Rilke Letters To A Young Poet

5. Alfred J. Brown Striding Through Yorkshire

6. Hermann Hesse Steppenwolf

7. Rebecca Solnit Wanderlust

8. John Hillaby Journey Through Britain

9. Iris Murdoch Under The Net

10. Krishnamurti The Penguin Krishnamurti Reader

See — it's easy, isn't it? That only took a minute. Why don't you have a go? 

Oh, and by the way, in case you're wondering about the title of this blog post... I only put it there to attract your attention...

Nigella

Nigella's back! Was I dreaming, or did she really recommend dropping uncooked chips into cold oil the other night? And surely one of her recipes didn't involve frying a clove of garlic topped with a few chilli flakes then dolloping a can of tomatoes and a raw egg on top? Good grief, I've just googled, and find I'm absolutely right. Though I could easily not have been, as I wasn't concentrating on the actual cookery all that much.

Nigella

Oh I beg you open up your pantry door, Nigella,
For I'm helpless and I'm rolling on the floor, Nigella.
Your peaches with whipped cream
Are the best I'm ever seen
And your sticky buns a middle-aged man's dream, Nigella.

Please activate me like a frothy yeast, Nigella.
You'll soon find out if I am man or beast, Nigella.
If you pummel me like dough
Then I'll very nearly know
That you love me just a little bit at least, Nigella.

When I see you standing at the cooking hob, Nigella,
You're sweeter than the corn upon the cob, Nigella.
Forget the boring ninnies
In their shapeless, stripey pinnies —
Your black dress and high heels are just the job, Nigella.

When I watch you drooling over a hot wok, Nigella,
My desire becomes much firmer than a rock, Nigella.
You can wash me, you can dry me,
You can stir me, you can fry me,
You can blitz me and then turn me into stock, Nigella.

I don't care if you serve melons or a fig, Nigella,
Or cabbage with a juicy slice of pig, Nigella,
Or chocolate with pak choi
Or a tasty saveloy —
My appetite would always be this big, Nigella.

So weigh me in your kitchen scales of love, Nigella,
And slip me on just like an oven glove, Nigella.
If you went, what would I do?
(Rachel Khoo is sexy too,
But she isn't as voluptuous as you, Nigella.)

Nigellissima, BBC2

The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo, BBC2

Nigella's Christmas Treats

After an anxious and frustrating day - which began with my 90 year old father going into hospital and ended with Marks and Spencer running out of chestnut purée - watching Nigella's culinary La-la land on the telly just now prompted my wife to say, rather wistfully: I wish I was going to her house for Christmas...

Mmm... I see what she means..!